Perils of Unemployment

Sometimes when I tell people the average starting salary in my industry, they get all scary-eyed. "How can you live off of that?" they'll ask, incredulously? "That's insane! You'll be miserable."
But let's take a minute to think of it this way: starting salary, let's call it $X.00, is actually quite a bit more than what I'm used to. In fact, it's $X more than I'm used to, because right now, friends, I make $0.00 a week. A month. A year. If I got a job as a panhandler, I would increase my income. So to be honest, skeptical friends and family, $X.00 sounds like I won the freaking lottery.
So let's recap: I make no money. I check my groceries at the self-service station so I can type in the price of cheaper apples and save 15 cents. I DO MY OWN LAUNDRY. I can create a lunch out of Trader Joe's samples. I don't even pretend to reach for the check at restaurants. But apparently, I am also retarded, because when I see all the one-piece bikinis on Delias.com, I pull out my credit card to buy one. Here are some problems with my actions:
a.) Delias is a catalogue, so how do I know it will fit?
b.) Delias is a teenagers catalog at that, so how do I know it won't look horribly cheap and cheesy?
c.) I live in Brooklyn, not Miami, and I swim twice a year.
d.) Even when I swim, I'm not that terrific at it.
But you know, at least I can wear my one-piece on the street while I beg for change.
WILL DO UNDERWATER HANDSTAND FOR MONEY

http://store.delias.com/browseAll.do?categoryID=1505
xoA